Is it a gift or a curse?

Hello to all who have taken the time out of their day in not only exploring my world, but also taking the time to explore my thoughts. My first blog ever, and I decided why not make it my most personal? Its only right…Have you ever been a victim of insomnia striking in the blink of an eye? You fall into a daze when you have no idea why you’re in that state mind, a different place, at that very moment in time. Within that daze, you hear your deepest thoughts, and see your wildest dreams. I live with an everyday struggle, and its name is Ambition.

Who would’ve ever thought that having too much Ambition throughout your life would have such a positive, yet negative impact on yourself? I’ve met very few people who can relate, but what you’re probably used to seeing are others who are content because they are living by the system we call society. To elaborate, I’m surrounded by friends, family, and overall individuals who have achieved so much in their life. For instance, graduating college, landing a career they spent countless years and hours preparing for, falling in love, getting married, having children, traveling the world,  and continuing to live day by day. This is the world that they define as Success.

My mind tends to drift away from the norms of society. It doesn’t cooperate to a system, and it doesn’t like to follow instructions. In other words, my biggest struggle in life is that I don’t enjoy the process. I want results right then and there. What happens when I don’t achieve those results instantly? I get overwhelmed, frustrated, and I challenge myself even harder, maybe even lose self esteem. Why does my mind have to be so unnecesarily complicated? I’ve made many achievements in life, my friends tend to think I “have it all together” but in reality, I always feel like i need to reach the next level. I’m never content with where I’m at in life because even though I have it “together,” I will always try to obtain better, even greater for myself. Therefore I have one question for you, Ambition, should i embrace you as a gift, or just accept you as a curse?

Is there something wrong with me? With time, I learned to realize that answer is, no. I just want to spend the rest of my life chasing my dreams, one after another. I never want to live a typical day. Tomorrow will always be a new day for me. That is how I truly define Success.

This blog is to express the adventures that Ambition has allowed to cross my path. I appreciate my different perspective in life. It helps me unleash my creativity, talent, and unravel my curiosity. For those who enjoy food, poetry, traveling, beauty & style, art, music, lifestyle changes, and rambling thoughts of everyday life…then this is the blog for you. Once again, I don’t expect you to understand my world, but I will at least hope you all will establish an open mind & enjoy it!

-Christina P.